Perhaps, some people believe that this spirit that the derailment, is still in the and platonic stage, there is no derailment of real men and women did not really sleep a go, it is no surprise that the doing what. In fact, it is seriously flawed. This is a misunderstanding of the spirit of the derailment.
In fact, many men and women in the spirit of the derailment, the couple of the other interested Dodge even tired of that offensive mentality, substantially affect the quality of life husband and wife, if the opportunity to mature, and substantial could legitimately be a derailment.
This spirit that the derailment, it is precisely because there is no actual derailment, couples often have no other party of the study, even the “dual ” did not object. But it ignored the derailment really wait until it is too late. I would rather focus on the prevention, detection of signs of mental derailment, it is necessary to take targeted measures and take preventive measures.
Derailed the spirit of men and women in general have shown the following:
First, do not often find an excuse to go home, would rather stay home alone
Husband and wife in the spirit of the derailment is a party to go home will find boring, will often find an excuse not to go home, even if the home is also a person would rather be alone. The other used to watch TV after dinner, he (she) would habitually playing computer or a pretext to do other things, that is idle bored, not with the other side were a total entertainment music, showing husband and wife sight, but it is, some couples in the event this happens, it’s plain that the marriage is an inevitable and, indeed, such a plain but hidden deep crisis.
Second inexplicably tired, refused to place people at arm’s length
Mental derailment party, certainly the heart, and there will be the object, this object may be Secret Love, or they may just ambiguous, but the spirit of the derailment of a party to the attention of the spirit often in another went to the subjects. Married life will find annoying, or not interesting, the partner will feel that now is cumbersome and redundant, has long been uninterested. So, when there is anything the other side of Q, or the other to take the initiative to affectionate, often will be the first touch of mycophenolate.
Third, sex is also into routine, on the object add to the fun to imagine
The phenomenon of mental derailment party, often on the husband and wife are also uninterested in sex, even if sometimes out of physiological needs, but also a matter of routine, but often to a quick end. Husbands and wives have a party to the existence of the spirit of the derailment, a couple things on the bed extremely disappointed, this is called: “love is often relentlessly annoying.” In some cases, has derailed the spirit of the party, in order to meet each other, even when having sex, the object of imagination is the idea of man, and to add to the fun. Derailed the spirit of the party, the couple things cold bed, and may even couples gave for sleeping together, the spirit of the derailment was a party to the other fell asleep masturbation taken the approach to achieve the meet.
Fourth, holding each other than with the others to see the other side bad
In marriage,not see each other, and even small things we should blame the other side, and even quarrel, they will deliberately pick thorns and the other side feel aggrieved, even if the other side deliberately performance, not always to his (her) of Italy, overtly or covertly, and the old with the others to take each other than, the more light than the more interesting.
Five is not on the other side, Jalan urgency on ignore
On the other side is unwilling to, once Jalan urgency, even if the other party aggrieved may cry, he (she) do not bother to go on, but the other side dumped aside their own business to help out, or find their own pastime went. Special daily life, the attitude of neither hot nor cold, very few have taken the initiative affectionate with each other often, after a quarrel, they can easily fall into a longer period of time of the Cold War.
Sixth, we remember each other’s birthday gifts are only a perfunctory
The spirit of the derailment of one of the spouses, often want to keep the heat on the marriage, but also substantially impossible. Therefore, often an excuse by the other, forget each other’s birthday, even if the recall will not carefully selected gifts, even if you send it on. No longer spend more do not begrudge the money to buy gifts, and always find reason to say that we must reduce overhead and so on.
Seven is pleased he was not happy about you, it is not none of indifference
With the spirit of the derailment of a party, when the other person has been pleased to do, for example, be rewarded in the workplace, or the other party made a prize, or by other people’s praise, or promotion of the title, home, should have been very glad, and derailed the spirit of the party, it appears the matter concerns, you glad that he (she) unhappy, and finally the entire atmosphere of upsets that did not delight.
Eight is often little secret hearts, do not want to share with each other
With the spirit of the derailment of the party, which was often hide some of my personal feelings, rather than out to share with the other side, only control of these feelings are able to produce it, but they are accustomed to in his heart to open a private space, they often feel that these feelings and the spirit of love is linked together. So, preferring to keep up their storage fermentation, but also do not want to show with the other half.
Nine friends and relatives until the other party is indifferent, and sometimes one side
With the spirit of the derailment, in fact, may also show a transference of other states, on the contrary substantive derailment, probably only for sex, which is the spirit of the derailment, are more likely to be very spiritual empathy. Therefore, the performance in real life, they are no longer the other half of the marriage as the most pro-people, of course, on the other’s relatives and friends will also want to keep their distance, and even there is no enthusiasm, nor the mood, I would like to strongly avoided .
I think the spirit of the party has derailed the situation, the other party can not be arbitrarily suspicion, it can not be indifferent and impatient, trying to tip on wheat, then the husband-wife relationship is really in a difficult position. In contrast, under such circumstances, it is necessary to save the marriage, to prevent the emergence of substantive derailed, would be moved targeted, multi-pronged approach, the most important thing is to let each other feel the warmth, emotional re-examine the marriage.
For example, in the life of more concern and care for each other, let each other’s heart is no longer cold indefinitely. Are frustrated in each other’s time to give support and encouragement. At the same time, you can think of a way appropriate to provoke each other’s jealousy, let each other’s thoughts some reversal.
Of course, not go too far, will be counterproductive. But the spirit of the derailment, it also depends on the extent, and then derailed side depends on temperament, the result of specific circumstances, but also the specific treatment. But no matter what, have to pay attention to. Because the spirit of the derailment, as the name of the derailment, than unilateral temporary heart great different